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My name is Nash and I'm 19 this year. I live in KL, Malaysia. I have many cats. I am extremely funny. I can be quiet at times, but actually I'm easily bored. A chocoholic.
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betrayed
...written on 2005-09-18, @ 10:10 p.m.
I'm not gonna lie that I'm pissed off today. Over something that you won't understand why I'm pissed off.
Nadea told me about her blog yesterday. So I went to her site this morning. To be very honest, I'm shocked. Shocked of her writing, shocked because of her attitude in that blog. Coz what I know is very different. I dunno, maybe she has changed since I moved which is 4 years ago. But the change is like 360 degrees change kinda thing. It's the opposite of what I know she was. As I was reading her blog, I almost felt scared. I'm not really close to her, who am I to judge, right? And this is not the main reason why I'm pissed off in the first place, but the revelation begins here.
From there I learned that Diyanah had a new blog since april, and she didn't even tell me about it! It's at blogspot too! I thought I was her best friend, but yet I didn't know about this. And Nadea knows. So, imagine what I felt inside. I feel very betrayed and maybe lost a little faith in her. In us. No, this is not the extreme, but I really feel that way now. Maybe I must realize that we're just not best friends anymore. We're not even close right now. I haven't seen her, talk to her, and feel her presence face to face for 4 years! I'm sure that our relationship account has expired or have no value at all! Maybe it's true, Nadea and Diyanah are close friends...they share everything together since I'm gone. I might as well swallow this fact.
By the way, I can't seem to contact Diyanah in any way. When I call her, I always ended up chatting with the voicemail lady, my smses didn't came through, and she didn't reply my email. On the last day of my contact with her, she smsed me saying that she's gonna move to a new house nearby. So, that means I can't even call her at home, coz she's moved. What am I supposed to do? I told this to Izah my friend at college and she said maybe Diyanah is running away from me. Silently I thought so too. Sad enough.
To all the person that I've said above, if any of you reas this, please don't take heart, okay. I'm just stating what I truely feel deep inside of me. I'm not gonna lie to myself and this diary is the only place that I can confide and find peace of mind. This is what I feel, even though it might all be because of PMS or something like it.